Manchester United win English Premier League title

Thanks to a 1-1 draw by Chelsea at Arsenal, Manchester United have officially won the 2006/07 EPL title. Congratulations and thanks for keeping Chelsea from winning another crown. Mourinho, I guess, has a future in wrestling, but maybe not at Stamford Bridge, especially not if there’s no FA Cup trophy to put in the awards display.

Manchester United won 0-1 at Manchester City on Saturday and then Chelsea’s away draw sealed the deal on Sunday. Must be nice for the ManU fans to “win the league at City,” especially with a game at Stamford Bridge coming up. They’ll be able to gloat to their hearts’ content and no doubt they’ll have snide words for the Blues when they meet in London.

Anyway, congrats.

Real Madrid 3 - 2 Sevilla: The Guti Show in Insanity-Vision

There are times as sports fans when we must admit our enemies are, actually, really good. This is one of those rare moments. Jose Maria Guti is a good player. Man, that hurts. I just had to get that out there, though, so that I could move along and get to the real issue at hand: Real Madrid vs Sevilla at the Bernabeu.

The game was, to put it pretty mildly, fantastic. There was so much energy on display and no one sat back and defended. The final score (3-2) suggests as much, but it doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of what this game was like to watch. The man of the match, Guti, wasn’t even on the field until he came on for Raul in the 59th minute as part of a double switch that also took Miguel Torres off for Ivan Helguera.

Quick Hits first before I get to a detailed breakdown of the game.
Goals: Maresca 41’, van Nistelrooy 62’, Robinho 78’, van Nistelrooy 85’, Chevanton 93’.
Red cards: Luis Fabiano 74’, Robinho 79’, Aitor Ocio 82’.
Yellow cards: Miguel Torres 40’, Sergio Ramos 55’, Hinkel 67’, Robinho 79’, David Beckham 84’, Javier Chevanton 84’.
Man of the Match: Guti

Those lists give you an idea that this was not a calm game, but even that doesn’t let you in on the absurdity that was Luis Fabiano’s sending off: he wasn’t on the field. He was warming up along the sideline and got a red card. For what, I don’t know yet, but no doubt the match reports and the Spanish press will fill us all in. Regardless of why it happened, I’ve never seen that before. And then Robinho was sent off after being shown a single yellow card immediately after scoring the go-ahead goal.

Much, much more after the jump.

Long, good weekend

Quite a long weekend of soccer watching for me as I caught all or parts of 5 games. I missed Saturday’s action until the exciting Guadalajara derby, which Chivas took home 2-0 at the expense of “home side” Atlas. The game was pretty exciting with several opportunities falling for both sides; Chivas was the club to take advantage, is all.

My favorite Barcelona took the honors at home 1-0 thanks to a late own goal created by lots of pressure and Javier Saviola banging the ball off the post and then off of Fernando Navarro. Sevilla failed to keep themselves within a single point of the Spanish leaders, falling 2-0 at the Mestalla to Valencia in a pretty fantastic game that starred, above all else, Joaquin. Real Madrid floundered against Santander, losing 2-1 at El Sardinero.

In England, Aston Villa came back from down a goal to win 1-3 on the road against Middlesbrough, pushing the Lions up to 10th in the Premiership table, 10 points from the relegation zone with only 4 games remaining. There is little hope of getting into Europe, but at least relegation has been avoided and a top half finish is more than possible. Games against Portsmouth, Manchester City, Sheffield United, and Bolton should ensure a top 10 end to the season, but both Portsmouth and Bolton will prove tough as they vie for European spots. Sheffield will be desperate to avoid the drop as they’re only 2 points from 17th placed Charlton. Man City has about as much to play for as Villa, so perhaps they’ll come out flat.

A more in-depth look at the Villains’ season is coming up, as well a review of the Valencia-Sevilla game and several longer posts concerning La Liga and the wider European game, especially as the semis of the Champions League draw nearer.

Another reason to hate England

Besides the fact that they burned our capital not even 200 years ago, stole our language but can’t spell it, and care about the Carling Cup, the English are now trying to take away our God-given right to host a World Cup. What I mean is, England is bidding for the 2018 World Cup which should be, according to the cyclical process of where FIFA chooses as World Cups host countries, somewhere in North America. Sepp Blatter has sort of thrown some water on that fire, but just the notion that England deserves a World Cup makes me mad. Back off, Brits. We saved your butts in World War II and this is the thanks we get?

How can you deserve a World Cup if you just had one like 500 miles away less than one year ago. ONE. That takes a single finger to count; a single anything, actually. Cause it’s the smallest whole number that is greater than zero. It’s already been 13 years since we hosted a World Cup in this half of the world. So shut your freaking pie holes. You had one in 1998 on the other side of a body of water that is 21 miles across! You have a train that runs under it! There’s no train from New York to London and even if there was, I wouldn’t take it because the World Cup is going to be over here! Hopefully. England doesn’t deserve it. Actually, neither do we and it should be put hosted by Canada. But that’s still close and I like that.

We’ll come up with a better logo in 2018, I swear!

Some News and a La Liga Roundup: Jornada 24

I know I’m focusing a lot on La Liga lately, but I’m finding the EPL harder and harder to pay attention to as there are now 9 points between the leaders and the 2^nd placed team (Chelsea do have a game in hand), Aston Villa haven’t played for what feels like 6 months, and the Carling Cup final is dominating the headlines. It’s the Carling Cup, for Pele’s sake! It’s the Intertoto of England! Who cares!? Arsenal started what amounts to a junior varsity team and Chelsea, well, they won and Chelsea winning always sucks, but they had to field a starting 11 to do it. Great job, guys, you beat up on the little kids. Enjoy your only trophy of the year! And I hope John Terry is fine, which he appears to be.

Drogba, for his part, scored both of Chelsea’s goals and won the African Footballer of the Year award. I’m not sure they’re directly related, but whatever, Drogba deserves it, even if he is quite a bit of a jerkoff on the field. He has talent, I can’t deny it. 116^th Street has a good discussion of what it’s like to realize that.

InterMilan finally didn’t win (gasp!) in Serie A and it was really about time. F-ing Inter. Serie A is usually entertaining in that you’re not sure if Juventus or Milan are going to win it, but this season…sheesh, boring. (I hope my sarcasm doesn’t drip onto the next paragraph…)

And now to La Liga where things remain tight while the press is trying to hand the league trophy to someone else every 15 seconds. First it was Barcelona that were floundering, falling asunder, in a crisis, and now out of it, flying high, watching as the pedestrian teams like Sevilla and Madrid flounder 2 and 6 points beneath them. But woe is Madrid as they’ve slipped to 4^th on goal differential, falling behind basement-dwellers Valencia, who themselves were considered the greatest team of all time after their 2-1 beating of Barcelona. (Sorry, there’s the sarcasm again).

Voronin to Liverpool

Soccernet is reporting that Liverpool have signed Andriy Voronin, who will arrive from Bayer Leverkusen on a free (Bosman) transfer in the summer. Voronin, a 27 year old Ukrainian, is good, if not amazing. What it does mean, however, is that a striker is leaving the club at the end of the season. Soccernet seems to think that it’s Fowler whose Anfield days are over, but I don’t think it should be seen as a definitive fact just yet. When you’ve got a few extra ducats lying around like Liverpool do, you never know who is going to be gracing your club with their presence and it’s not particularly worthwhile for Benitez to have all those robot jokes bouncing around the locker room for the 150th time if he can avoid it. So maybe Peter Crouch is going to Juventus, maybe Fowler is out, or maybe both. Neither would be a bad move on Liverpool’s part, not if they now have a guy who doesn’t even care where the ball is, he just wants to kick it (see above picture). Though, everyone would miss this (warning: 151st robot joke!).

Away for the weekend

I’ve been lax about posting this week thanks to getting the Barcelona Offside blog up and running, but I promise more stuff this coming week, especially reflections on the Champions League. Also, a look at what’s coming in La Liga and the EPL.

Giggs 1 Lille defenders 0

pwnd

A new home for Barcelona blogging

From now on, all commentary specific to Barcelona is being posted at the Barcelona Offside page, meaning I am now a proud member of the Offside community. So update all those bookmarks and RSS feeds…Naturally I’ll continue to post here about all the random things that happen throughout the soccer world, so don’t forget to check back here either!

The Amazing Mr. Woo

The Disappointment Zone pointed this out and it’s pretty unbelievable. Wait till the end if you think you’ve seen it all before.

Bias: a beautiful thing

UEFA doesn’t see anything wrong with this scene, do you?

The Champions League results are in for today and it turns out that English teams can’t avoid controversy, no matter whether they’re on holiday or actually out there playing. But here’s the thing: I didn’t see what happened, so I don’t know who’s right, who’s not; all I have to go on are the various news reports and they present two wholly different stories. If all you read was UEFA.com, you’d never know that the Giggs goal was even disputed at all, much less by the players being told by their coaching staff to walk off. That and the fact that there was a serious scare at the visiting end of the field as the crowd surged forward. Scary. The game, by the way, ended 0-1 with the Red Devils in serious command of the tie.

The rest of the scores:

Real Madrid 3 - 2 Bayern Munich: this one is hard to call but I think Bayern go through on away goals in the end. And as always I was very surprised to hear that Oliver Kahn didn’t received a red card for eating either the ball or an opponent.

Celtic 0 - 0 Milan…right, like that didn’t have draw written all over it.

PSV 1 - 0 Arsenal: How about some creativity, Gunners? No? Then eat Edison Mendez’s sweet strike. (Link later when I find it)

Finally

Regardless of any disagreements with ESPN I may have over what is shown on their Deportes channel (which I obviously don’t get), I’m thrilled about the return of the Champions League. Welcome back o’ great tournament of winners!

As long as golf clubs aren’t allowed on the pitch, we could see this again.

Jerkoffs

The excrementfaces at ESPN aren’t showing Barcelona-Liverpool on Wednesday. Instead they chose to air Porto-Chelsea, which, in comparison, is about as interesteting as watching Britney self-destruct. I’m still going to watch, but still, up yours ESPN.

Even Mourinho is dejected about the TV schedule.

Golazo!

All the goals from this weekend in La Liga, via Marca.com. The page also has pictures and match reports in Spanish. Click on the links next to the scores for each individual goal.

Alves scoring his worm-burner against Atletico.

Rise and Shine Time

 

Capello is somewhere in Madrid, kicking himself as we speak.

Perhaps Fabio Capello misunderestimated Ronaldo’s abilities after all. El Gordo grabbed two of the goals in a last-second win by Milan over Siena 3-4. In light of Madrid’s recent form, you’d think Capello would be more than happy to have a striker worth his weight half his weight in goals. While I still believe Milan incapable of winning the Champions League, they’re certainly more of a force in Italy. They’ve moved into the European spots and are assured of remaining there through next weekend. Not bad for a group of cheaters.

Speaking of cheating, all of the clubs who were punished for being a bunch of scumbags (that’s the legal term, right?) are out of relegation. Milan and Lazio are in the UEFA Cup spots (33 and 31 points respectively; Lazio with a game tomorrow) while Fiorentina is 8 points from Milan with a game tomorrow. Reggina sit 2 points from relegation with 19 points and a game tomorrow against 8th place Atalanta. Had none of these teams been docked points, Milan would be in 4th, Fiorentina would be in 5th, Lazio would be in 7th and Reginna would be in 9th just above Atalanta.

A look down into Serie B sees uber-cheaters Juventus destroy Crotone 5-0 (Italian) behind a Del Piero hattrick to move 3 points clear of Napoli and new number 2 Mantova. Napoli currently sits on 40 points with their game against Arezzo for 9amET tomorrow (Sunday). Had Juve not been docked points, they’d be comfortably in first by 12 points. Instead they’re in first place anyway. Big whoop. The old lady will be back in Serie A next year and probably pushing for a European spot immediately.

Betis: Mid-Major of La Liga

Real Madrid 0 - 0 Real Betis

The game ended in a nil-nil draw, but it was an exciting game, with several sure goals failing to be scored by various strikers. Van Nistlerooy missed an easy opportunity and Fabrice Pancrate missed two for Betis. There were other half-chances throughout the game but spotty refereeing (especially at the end) meant what would have otherwise been a wide open run-and-gun game became a little more stagnant. Beckham picked up a red card in the 90th minute, after getting revenge for what should have been a freekick on the edge of the Betis box. Silly foul and a fully deserved red card that will not help Beckham’s chances of playing for England.

I watched the GolTV feed and the commentators, who I’ve never experienced before, were out of control. I don’t know who they are or exactly where they’re from, but they’re English speakers, one of whom sounds as if he’s from the British Isles and another sounds very American. Regardless of where they’re from, they spent 90% of the time discussing the week’s news items and 5% talking about the game that was in front of them. The other 5% was spent on sighing when Real Madrid were in danger or missed a shot, which brings up my point: the commentary was ridiculously biased towards Madrid. Whoever is in charge of GolTV should really make sure they hire people who know who is on the field for Madrid’s opponents. It’s one thing to be able to discuss Madrid intelligently (and I’ll admit that there were times when they were right on in that regard), but to lack any knowledge whatsoever about the other team on the field is unforgivable. Commentators aren’t supposed to be biased, they’re not supposed to be in favor of one team and against the other. And I don’t think they’re supposed to yell “Jackie Chan!” after Ramos nearly beheaded Melli with a high kick.

Enough about the commentators, I just needed to get that out of my system. It’s also in stark contrast with the commentator for the Zaragoza-Villareal game (also on GolTV) who is obviously Spanish and speaking English as a second language. He knows what he’s talking about and keeps his vocal chords focused on relaying what’s happening on the screen rather than who had what for breakfast.

Real Betis have now not lost in their last 8 games. While only 2 of those were wins, this is their current streak:

D-@Madrid, D-Santander, D-Barcelona, W-Valencia, D-@Sevilla, W-@Bilbao, D-Sevilla, D-@Madrid

That’s a pretty good run against highly ranked opponents (they played the top 4 teams in the league table and drew three times and won once), which makes Betis a pretty solid team at the moment. They’re living up to preseason standards now, in many ways. They’re only 4 points from the relegation zone and everyone below them has a game in hand, but they’re showing signs of life and the grit necessary to pull themselves out of danger. Regardless, no one below them looks ready to make any sort of a sustained run up the table: Mallorca, Levante, Bilbao, Celta, Sociedad, and Nastic.

Madrid, for their part, haven’t been doing so great as of late: 1 win, 2 draws, and 2 losses in their last 5. The loss that hurt the most was definitely the 0-1 defeat by Levante at the Bernabeu. Capello needs a creative midfielder, not another striking midfielder. He’s already got Robinho and van Nistelrooy, so he can rest assured that he’ll get goals if he can provide them with the ball. Adding Reyes on the wing was a great call, but starting Guti as the creative lynchpin is foolish. Need proof? Madrid 0 - 0 Betis. Pretty much all the proof you need. No goals. Surprise! Not only that, but Beckham was playing an almost central attacking role towards the end and you just can’t win games that way. Whatever your opinion of Raul (and mine is low), it has to be admitted he’s a better striker with only one shoe on than Beckham is on his best days. Beckham is a midfielder, leave him there. Gago, while gifted, hasn’t adjusted yet to being surrounded by players who are stronger and faster than anything he experienced in Argentina and it’s a little much to expect he’ll be Madrid’s spark. Still, a little more is needed from him than an anonymous game except for the moment when he got that yellow card. That was basically the only thing he did.

Aston Villa and Barcelona posts

I’ve posted about Villa’s increased potential in this half of the season at The Disappointment Zone. Check it out. I’ll be adding a Barcelona post on For Club and Country in the next two days, covering not only the big week ahead, but also the Eto’o saga that’s been going on.

UEFA: more Phil Simms

UEFA has decided the Champions League final should be more like the Super Bowl, I assume because it’s the second most gluttonous day in America. Which is something Europeans need to learn a thing or two about. Perhaps they’ll add a Playboy party too; we can send over Bill Simmons to liven up any celebrity go-kart races; and always add Roman numerals to your sporting events cause that’s not retarded or anything. Another thing Europeans should learn about, time:

There are 60 90 minutes in a game!

Oh the humanity

What happened? Oh yeah, Dunga.

I’m sure that many, many tears were shed in Brasil today when the new FIFA World Rankings were announced. 55 months on top of the world and now behind a nation who can’t even let fans into their stadiums. Geez. Is there an equivalent page to this for Portugal now?

More hotties, fewer vampires! Go Brazil!

Here’s to intolerance

Thanks to Josh at Rebuilding Year for this one.

I’m not sure how often it comes up in soccer, but here in the States a mini-”furor” has been created (once again, I have to admit) by an ex-athlete admitting to being gay. So naturally Chris Broussard weighs in with idiocy. Maybe this is why I don’t read his columns.

A toast to bigotry: Chris Broussard is a shithead.

Riquelme

I couldn’t say it much better than Linda at The Beautiful Game, so I won’t try.

Weekend in Review

Champions celebrate with coffee!

The weekend is over and now we can assess the damage. In Germany Schalke 04 have a 6 point lead and because they’re neither Bayern nor Werder I am hereby lending my curse-filled support to Schalke. May the prosper and win the title!

Lord is it getting close in Ligue 1!

Goddamn you Sampdoria! I hate being wrong! Serie A is just a joke.

Barcelona have a 3 point advantage in La Liga, thanks to a strong showing against Santander. Beckham scored a goal against Sociedad in a come-from-behind win inspired by ex-Red Devils and Valencia was shown up as title pretenders by Getafe in a 3-0 thrashing. Aguero won’t stop scoring, which is impressive, though sometimes he uses his hands.

In the EPL, Man U retained their 6 point lead over Chelsea, but Liverpool lost to a resurgent Newcastle and are only 1 point ahead of 4th place Arsenal, who used another late comeback to secure 3 points. Beloved Villa dropped all the points against Reading, but remain 12 points clear of relegation, the battle for which is certainly heating up as Watford beat West Ham in a battle of the worst.

I can’t find any information about whether or not Oswaldo Sanchez will get punished (castrated? SFW) — does anyone know?

For Club and Country

SoccerSpot has a new sister site! Please welcome For Club and Country to the fold.

A: Because we have the NRA

It’s my car, I can do what I want to it!

Freakonomics Blog discusses why it is that Americans aren’t as violent about sports as their European counterparts. Wait, Europeans are violent? No way.

Speaking of misunderstandings, thanks to Footie Bird (whose blog I recommend as both funny and insightful) discusses Henry Winter and his douchebaggery. EPL Talk does it’s level-headed best to see the bright side of thing in the Liverpool takeover.

End of an era

The Free Wisla! movement has reached it’s end. Damn you UEFA!